The first two feeling are anger and fear. Both rob us of our happiness. They hijack the thought process and control the logic, reason and discretion.
The third feeling which instantaneously destroys all happiness is the feeling of sorrow. Sorrow at the loss of near and dear ones, sorrow at the loss of a material object, sorrow at the loss of a dear possession.
The thing that stays common in all these is loss. Let’s analyses this loss. When I loose a beautiful pen, what exactly is lost? Is a part of me that will never come back? What I gained by its possession? What gain will not be there?
Answers to these questions will lead us to a fact that the basis of our loss is attachment. Attachment to things which are not ours and which will decay and disappear.
Our focus remains only till the attraction. It does not venture into the area where decay sets in. We like the attraction, it invokes in us a good feeling. But feeling themselves are bubbles. Bubbles burst all over and all the time. Here also we discard the bursting part.
The disengagement of a possession, starts from the instant we possess. It drifts away from us, but we pump in energy to keep the attraction live. Finally when the disengagement is complete, loss state is achieved.
In fact we are not concerned about the loss. We are concerned about another fact. Where will we invest the energy earmarked to keep the attraction alive. This ignorance of the next container causes the sorrow to flood our mind.
Some people move on, get into a new relationship. Some identify a new object of desire, some search a new place of pilgrimage ant the cycle continues.
Identification of this fact will release suffering in us. The sorrow will cease to exist if we focus on reducing the attraction.